Background picture

Just in case people were wondering where I found all of the hand drawings and things... I... they're mine, I drawn everything that is a sketch in the background, and took the pictures of everything else (Owl Sensei) and the FFXIV online character who is my character in that game...

That's... that's all really... I only draw my hands 99% of the time I draw things... I guess because they are very important to me? I use my hands for nearly everything in my life... so I guess if I was ever given an ultimatum of say "keep one hand or both of your legs" I'd keep the hands (w/lol???)

Ok... now... now time to wash up and continue my application... 

It's a start!

I signed up for the job application process, I had to write a new CV/Resume and a cover letter, give references and all of the usual things needed. Now I have to start the training and exam part to see if I am suitable for the job. Which I will do after lunch as I just arrived home from my antisocial hours work position...

I think it is English Language Proficiency and a speed typing test that they do for it. 

It's a start at least...

I am also paid tomorrow which will help a lot. I plan on buying a few things from Amazon, mainly:

• Rechargeable batteries with charger; so I can do my little plan of proving I leave the apartment and I'm not a 100% Hikikomori forever and ever, using my old camera and taking photographs as proof I was outside would encourage me to leave and be outdoors more.
• A charger for my old laptop as it is broken again.
• Some of those "fidget spinners" to see if it helps anxiety, concentration and for me to use my electric cigarette less. Although, I'd never use it outside of the apartment as it might cause too much attention and that'd make me more nervous outside.
• Korean language flash cards; I wish to learn it as I like the television and music from Korea, and I technically have family there too so it'd be nice to be able to speak to them in the future if I meet them, and speaking without an interpreter would be nice. I even signed up for a free online course in Korean, so it's not just being thrown in the deep end.

And that was everything I needed, although I might order a key ring with an owl on it that you can personalise for very cheap... as having that with something silly like "Hikikomori OUT!" on it and taking a photo with that as even more proof I left the apartment outside of work would be fun for me... and I can also have it as a general lucky charm and reminder of why I'm trying to improve myself over time...

So it's a start at least... I'll go and wash up now, make lunch and see how the training/testing part of the application goes, I'm guessing it'll be a few days of work if it is multiple exams and training things...

Have a great day, my invisible readers~ ^-^/

Goals

I would like for this blog to help me get on track with daily goals and life. 

As a stereotypical Hikikomori, I do not have the best self esteem or confidence, it is safe to say I have very little of those things... but I wish to improve over time and work on improving myself over time, so I started this thing to try to keep myself accountable.

I know my own weaknesses and one is letting people down or not doing something when I say I will, so if I say I will do something on here, I'll feel more compelled to do it.

My main goals to post about on here are:

• New Job
• De-clutter
• Hobby/Informal jobs
• Improve health

There is a new job I wish to apply for, that I am qualified to do, and really need to do as it will be very positive, as it can all be done online so it doesn't matter if I am in the UK or Japan during working shifts. I'm seemingly putting off doing it from general nerves and I think a fear of failing, and being given more responsibility compared to my current anti-social hours, lone working position. So I'll work on that as I really need to apply for it, it is a literal god-send.

I am recovering from OCD and one of the traits I had was hoarding. I need to de-clutter again as I didn't even notice how bad it started to get. So I plan on de-cluttering as much as possible and living very minimalist-ly.

The Hobby/Informal Jobs are Owl Sensei, my drawing, writing 'The Suicidal Ghost' stories, and I've started liking photography which I could also use as a "proof I went outside" thing here too w. I plan on 'Owl Sensei' as a main Hobby/Informal Job to do, as I'm a recovering 'selective mute', so continuing to use my voice for something is a good idea to help lessen that Hikikomori/anxiety trait over time (as I live with 99% of the time not needing/having to speak to anything in real life).

Improving health is to do with my health... shocking! w...

I am in bad health, I dislike to really discuss it but my diet is lazy and really needs improving, my cholesterol for one thing is very easy to raise and I've just been tested for it again and will need to lessen it again, my diet would be useful to improve. So I am currently trying to improve that and hopefully my fatigue will lessen at the same time... as I understand that living on sugar free energy drinks and coffee to stay physically awake isn't the most normal.

I also need to exercise a bit more, not just the anti-social hours work but outside of that, if I get the new job too I'd not be exercising or moving around for that one so having some general outside exercise is good... I've gained weight and I'd really like to lose it again... so improving diet, improving physical activity and taking better care of myself should hopefully help improve my health all around...

Thank you for reading! Invisible people ^-^/ かんぱい～

よろしくお願いします～ Nice to meet you～

初めまして

Hello for the first time

コウエンダークです

I'm Kouen Dark

よろしくお願いします～

Nice to meet you～

ひきこもりになりました、大変です、ね？

I became a Hikikomori, it's pretty bad, isn't it?

このブログに頑張れます

With this blog, I'll try my best

それじゃ～よろしく、ね！

And soooo～ let's do this, yes!