I have had a good week ^-^/ and noticed things too

I have had a good week. 

I spent a week off work where I am cleaning antisocial hours. 

Usually I am tired afterwards as I have been cleaning for hours and hours.

This time off work I had to take or lose the holiday pay, so I decided to see how I am with making videos for Owl Sensei during this time.

It has been fun, I have been able to practice speaking a lot more and my voice is rather normal, albeit dry. 

I never have to use my voice for any reason in my usual day, maybe 99% of the day can be spent silent with no human interaction or need to speak... So my voice gets progressively worse when I try to make a new video for Owl Sensei or when I try to talk to people...

I realised it is like playing an instrument, if you play guitar, and don't play it for a month or two, you might need a few days to practice and get your ability back to normal... it seems to be the same for using my voice... I don't use it much or at all and then when I try I stumble a lot and it gets dry and fumbled...

So I have had a good week, because I have made 12 videos in this week and not felt too tired because I haven't been cleaning for hours prior... 

I also had a reason to use my voice, because the videos mean I have to use my voice to make them, I have also enjoyed sitting down and thinking of example sentences to make, as many of them are usual and typical sentences but some are more amusing or silly just because it is more fun that way.

I wish I could do this as my regular job... I think it would be really nice to do...

Some other things I have noticed recently is that I am rather terrified of people when I go to the store and it is busy... I need to figure out why, it just feels like.... it is like I've stolen the entire store and they're going to find out and put me in prison for the next 50 years or something... but if I didn't steal the entire store someone would be killed as a hostage or something ww... I am just really uneasy and terrified being in the store when I get to the tills to pay... it is strange as I've not stolen anything (obviously) and nobody is mean or even looking like a super villain... nobody is held hostage... so I am not sure why I have to concentrate really hard on not having a panic attack... 

My breathing is really strange and in need of hyperventilation when in reality I have zero need to, and my hands shake a bunch too... I must look so suspicious w/笑 ... hopefully not though, and at lest I've noticed it so I can work on that over time and do my own kind of 'Exposure Therapy' to hopefully lessen the anxiety over time... 

Other than this, I've been out to meet the people I meet once a month, and that was fun. 

I had to go to the doctors and pharmacy twice for my meds and the store once, and a convenience store once for food and drink and bath stuff... so I have been outside a lot...

It is too hot too so I have been sweating a lot and melting during the outside times ww/笑 ... not fun...

But, I've been outside a lot, made a lot of videos, spotted more irrational phobias and anxieties to work on, and I've enjoyed my week in general... so that's good ^-^/ 

お疲れ様でした~

Thank you all for your hard work~

それではまったね！

And so, See you all later!